Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Look Back In Apathy: Blister In The Storage Room

I'm going to post couple of stories that don't really fit in anywhere under this series, as this doesn't really go in any other category (i.e. asshole customers, asshole co-workers, etc etc).

In the backroom where the bathroom and books older than your uncle are, the owner kept some porno comics. He had a euphemism for them, but I just realized I can't probably say what it was as it was the name of the only guy who enjoyed them. In the meantime, I'll just call them porno comics. A lot were published by Eros, which is a division of Fantagraphics and consists of probably their highest sellers. A lot of weird hentai and indie porn by small-press guys like Bob Fingerman( and one of the Hernandez guys. Pedro, I think.

He kept them hidden in a separate box, or tucked in randomly. Sometimes a regular would pull them out or find them for laughs. Of course, the funniest tale involved another kind of regular. This guy was a card and game player who had to use the potty during an action-packed Saturday. Evidently, he must've come across the box whilst returning from his mid-morning tinkle and decided to flip open a book and get reacquainted with his genitals. He had been gone for some time when the owner tried to open the back door and asked something along the lines of, "hey-hey, what are you doing? What's going on back there?" To which the curious masturbator probably replied, "uh-n-nothing. I'll be right out." Sadly, I wasn't there to take a picture of his walk of shame.

The lesson? Admit you're keeping the books to wack off to at 2 a.m. when your wife is asleep or throw the things out. No one wants a copy of Defenders with the shiny-embossed and sticky-entrailed cover.


ryanprows said...

wow, nothing for forever, and now three in a row?!? amazing.

Bryan Ferry's Mom said...

I read Bondage Fairies for the story dammit!

Thorne said...

Fun category of comic shop customer: Creepy older guys like in their 50's to early 60's who buy nothing but porn comics. Furtive, unable to make eye contact, talk with quavering noises and might start licking their lips or rubbing their hands together as the clerk rings up their copy of some years old back-issue of Cherry Pop or hentai manga about some big-eyed girl getting gang-banged by demons.

Stunbunny said...

Every comic shop has at least one.

But it could be worse. Search for "true porn clerk stories" and read about the exploits of a woman who worked at a Chicago video store that had an extensive porn selection. You'll want to buy a haz-mat suit.

Seethe Rogers said...

I can't believe there's a retail experience more depressing than mine, but being a 31-year-old woman clerking for $6.50 in a porn store might be it.